Engagement Announcement Etiquette

It's that time of year, engagement season.  We are all seeing it.  A quick glance at your Instagram or Facebook feed and you are bound to scroll past at least a ring selfie or two. Maybe you know these people well, but in this world of instant digital gratification, what is really appropriate?

Have you ever scrolled past a ring selfie and had that moment of; WAIT WHAT?  Should you maybe have found out in some other way?  We live in a fast paced world, but saying “yes” should be one of the most important decisions of your life. The weight of this begs for a little time to slow it all down.  This is a time to remember who is important to you and make sure that they hear the big news first.  It perhaps may also be a time to consider if maybe in your heart you know who will be invited to the big day.  It is not best practice to announce an exciting event to individuals who will and will not be invited in the exact same way.  These are things that we should take time to think about.  No one should feel pressure to make anything “Facebook official” immediately or even within weeks of their engagement, if at all. 

Not too long ago, we lived in a world where moments and people mattered beyond clicking “share” or “like.”  Starting a life together with the one you love is the perfect time to remember this.  It is a time to set good practices for your future together.  As a married couple, you may want to take a vacation, or even a “staycation” without telling a soul.  This is your right. Your need for privacy will only increase as you grow your family (or choose not to grow your family).  Becoming engaged is the perfect catalyst to start setting boundaries, both on social media and in the real world.  

Who has to know first 

For most of us our parents and siblings should take absolute priority.  They deserve at least phone call soon after the proposal, if possible. If you are close enough and able, a personal visit to share the news is typically preferred. Your best friends will likely receive a call or a text, as well, within hours of your engagement or at the very least as the sun is rising the next morning.

Second Tier

Aunts, uncles, and cousins can be tricky territory.  This really depends not on titles, but on what your core relationships have been throughout the years.  For some people these individuals may be “first tier” or among the first to know.  For others it may even be okay to let the news trickle down.

There are ways to break the news to a widespread community (aside from social media) even if you  cannot possibly call everyone.  In some instances you might be able to call the known “patriarch” of key family units and ask them to share the news for you. For many, they will be delighted and tickled at your request to include them in spreading the joy. In other instances, engagement announcement cards (not to be confused with Save-The-Date cards) may be appropriate.   A form of newsletter/email may be a faster/less cold than the social media format with which to spread the news. 


We spend all day every day with them, right?   When you share the news with your work team there really is no silencing it.  Sadly, to keep the news to yourself may require keeping that new shiny band hidden away until you are ready.  Depending on how close you are to your team they may find out before, let’s say, engagement announcements are created and received in the mail. After all, you do see them nearly every day.

The way you and your fiancé choose to share your news, is in the end, up to you both. As long as you remember to tell the important people in your life first, there is no “wrong way” to spread the news to your adoring fanclub. Just be sure you are both in agreement on when you choose to go “Facebook Official.” The last thing you would want to do is hurt a loved one because you jumped the gun and forgot to tell them personally. Most importantly-enjoy this time in your lives as it flies by so quickly. Nothing is better than saying “yes” to the person you love and starting the next, exciting chapter in your lives. Congratulations and best wishes to you both! 


-Carrie and Laurelle Farrell